Defining Moments
by MarauderLover7
Summary: Every now and then, we have those moments that define us, for better or for worse. And instinct takes over... because in that moment, we don't think and just act. Those moments show who we are and what we're made of. And at that time, we surrender our facades and reveal our true selves to the world. Those moments will test us and shape us into what we will become.
1. Chapter 1 - Sirius

**_Every now and then, we have those moments that define us, for better or for worse - Sirius._**

James' eyes passed over Marlene, subtly enough that she didn't notice anything but obviously enough that Sirius did. Sirius nodded slightly. James stood. Peter copied him. "I'm going to try to get that Charms homework done." Sirius nodded again. "I've had no luck with Potions though," James said, sounding distressed.

Sirius picked up on the cue. "I can't seem to get Transfiguration," he said, wrinkling his nose.

"Me either!" Peter said, sounding relieved.

Sirius and James' eyes met and then both looked away quickly. "If you'll help me with Potions," James said, "I'll help you with Transfiguration."

"Done," Sirius said.

"Come up around six?" James said. "I want to get to bed early tonight."

This of course, was the biggest lie yet. For starters, the Marauders generally did their homework early in the morning - though they were all up to date in preparation for tonight - and secondly, they were not planning to get to bed until early in the morning, if they slept at all.

"Me too," Sirius said. Marlene, who was listening in, pouted slightly. "There'll be other nights, McKinnon," he said, winking.

She raised an eyebrow and tossed her dark hair over her shoulder. "What makes you so sure, Black?"

Sirius watched James wave at an annoyed Lily Evans and then leave with Peter tailing him. Smiling, he leaned closer to the fourth year, so close their noses were almost touching. "I just know," he murmured. He'd perfected this.

Marlene blinked but she didn't back off like most girls usually did. It was one of the reasons they got on so well, as friends, or whatever else people dubbed them; he was a shameless flirt and knew it, but she was too and wasn't nearly as bothered by his antics as most others. She tilted her head slightly, bringing them even closer together - if that was even possible - and said, "Oh, really?"

"Really," Sirius said. He kissed the side of her mouth quickly, pulled away and stood.

"You're horrible!" she said, looking rather flustered.

"Is that a blush, McKinnon?" he asked. She scowled. "I think it is," Sirius said, feeling rather pleased with himself. "I don't think I've seen you blush since you were twelve."

"Clearly you haven't been spending enough time around me then," Marlene replied.

"That's fixable," Sirius said.

"Let's go then," Marlene said, her dark eyes meeting his boldly.

"Nice try. I'm free tomorrow though."

"What's her name?" Marlene asked.

"Homework," Sirius said.

"Sure, Black."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Jealous, are you?"

Marlene laughed. "Not really. If you're busy, I'll have to make other plans. Oi! Morgan!" A boy at the Hufflepuff table spun around. "You doing anything tonight?"

Sirius cast a non-verbal jinx at the boy, who shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "Er..., yeah, actually," he muttered. "Sorry."

Marlene wasn't stupid. Sirius supposed he should have left it at boils; the pink hair was overdone. "Now who's jealous?" she asked.

"Still you." Sirius winked, gave her a cheery wave, and left. He knew she was watching, so he stopped to talk to Julianne Price on the way out of the hall.

She blushed - as she always did and next to her, Katelyn and Sylvia giggled. "Hi, Siri," she said, batting her eyelashes. Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald rolled their eyes a little further down the table; Mary was pretending to retch into her potatoes and Lily was choking on her pumpkin juice, trying not to laugh.

"Please, please don't call me that, Jules," Sirius said with a grimace. She blushed again.

"So what do you want?" she asked sweetly.

"Just to say hi," he said, shrugging.

"I think you've just made her day," Marlene said. Sirius hadn't heard her approach and only just managed not to jump. She continued right past him and sat down with Lily and Mary.

Julianne sent Marlene a nasty look and shifted. "Are you busy tonight?"

"Very," he said gravely.

She looked annoyed and glanced at Marlene. "How about tomorrow?"

"He's busy tomorrow too," Marlene said, shooting Sirius a coy smile. "Aren't you?"

"Very, very busy," Sirius agreed with a grin. "I'll see you later, Jules."

"Bye, Siri," she said.

Sirius gritted his teeth, waved and left, for real this time. "Siri! Wait up!" a new voice called mockingly when he reached the entrance hall.

"Sod off, Snivellus," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. He bolted up the staircase, taking the steps two at a time and when he heard footsteps behind him, ducked into a side-passage that would take him to the fourth floor. Footsteps still came after him.

Sirius let out a growl and without even bothering to turn, aimed his wand over his shoulder and gave it a quick jab. There was a yelp of pain and then he did turn and was vindicated to see Snape pink-haired and covered in painful looking boils. It was his favourite hex, lately.

"Sod off," Sirius told him.

"I live here too," Snape said, waving his wand to fix his boils. "I'm just as entitled to walk here as you are."

Sirius rolled his eyes, spun on his heel and shoved Snape out the way as he doubled back the way he'd come. He was annoyed but not surprised to hear footsteps behind him. He gritted his teeth. "I thought you were walking the other way."

"I changed my mind," Snape said smoothly.

"Only because I changed my mind first," Sirius growled. "Bugger off, Snivelly, before I _make_ you."

"You can't _make_ me do anything," Snape said, following Sirius down another corridor. "I know you're up to something, Black and I'm going to find out what."

"Yes," Sirius said, turning. "You've caught me. I'm up to something. Happy? Now bugger off back to the dungeons and stop bloody stalking me!"

"I'm just walking," Snape said.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sirius said, fed up. He turned, brandishing his wand. One wave later, Snape was dangling from the roof of the corridor by his shoelaces. His pasty face was turning a splotchy red colour and whether that was from embarrassment or from the blood rushing to his head Sirius didn't know or care. Snape flapped his arms, trying to get his wand out of his robes. _He looks like a bloody bat_, Sirius thought and made a mental note to tell James.

"Off to find Lupin_?_" Snape called at his retreating back. Sirius ground his teeth together, but ignored him. There was a thump and a quiet "oww!" and then soft footsteps ran after Sirius; Snape had left his shoes on the ceiling and was just wearing his socks. "Because he won't be there."

"I know he won't," Sirius said curtly.

"I saw him," Snape said.

"I bet you did," Sirius muttered, checking his watch.

"He was with Madam Pomfrey."

"He's sick," Sirius said. "Now shut up and go bother someone else."

"She took him into the Whomping Willow," Snape continued. "I thought that was a rather odd place to take a sick person."

"Yes, well you can keep your thoughts to yourself, if you wouldn't mind."

"There's something not right about Lupin," Snape said nastily.

"You're one to talk," Sirius told him.

"He's unusual. All the teachers like him, but _I_ think they pity him too."

"I'll _make_ you pitiable," Sirius promised him.

"You can try," Snape said, twirling his wand. "So why _did_ Lupin go to the Whomping Willow?"

"Why are you obsessed with him, hmm?" Sirius said. He caught Snape by the throat and slammed him against the wall of the corridor. "What business of yours is it?"

"I'm just curious," Snape choked, his long-nailed fingers scrabbling to prise Sirius' hand off. Sirius let him fall. He slid the ground, gasping.

"Yeah? Why don't you let me worry about my friends and you worry about yours. Or don't you have any after you pissed Lily off?"

"I'm just concerned for the well-being of my classmate," Snape said, getting up again, but he'd gone pale at the mention of Lily.

"I'd worry about your own well-being," Sirius advised. "Particularly if you keep bothering me."

Snape shrugged. "If you hurt me, I'll have no choice but to go to the Hospital Wing. And if Lupin's as sick as you say he is, I might even get the chance to see him. I'm sure _he'd _tell me why he went to the Whomping Willow."

"I'm fairly sure he wouldn't," Sirius said, turning suddenly. There were about seven secret passages in the vicinity, but if he used one now, Snape would learn about it.

"Oh, so it's a secret?" Snape asked.

"Yes," Sirius said. "A huge secret. Bigger that your nose."

"My nose isn't that big," Snape said, having not noticed Sirius' non-verbal Engorgement Charm. At least not until it started to pull his head down. "But a secret, you said? Is it a good one? Or a bad one? Because I'd hate to see you get expelled." His nose was now the size of a loaf of bread and he was having trouble walking.

"I'm sure you would," Sirius said. Snape tapped his massive nose and it shrank back to its normal - though still rather large - proportions.

"Have _you_ ever been in the Whomping Willow?" Snape asked as he followed Sirius.

"No," he said.

"Liar," Snape hissed, looking gleeful. "I saw you last time Lupin was 'sick'. You and Potter and Pettigrew were sneaking around the grounds."

"If you knew the answer, why'd you ask the question?" Sirius asked, thoroughly fed-up.

"To see how big of a secret it is," Snape said.

"I already told you," Sirius snapped. "It's a massive secret."

"Obviously, if you lied about it. So are you going to tell me?"

"Why the hell would I do that? You're the biggest pain in the arse I've ever had the misfortune to meet - and with my family, that's saying something - and you'd like nothing better than to get us all expelled."

"Why would I want you expelled?" Snape asked.

"Because you're a jealous little bastard," Sirius said. "That's why. You can't stand that James is better than you are, at everything. You're scared you'll lose Lily to him. I've seen the way you talk about him. It's sick. It's like you're trying to brainwash her or something. And Remus, you don't like him because... well, I don't know why. But I suspect it has something to do with him being one of the nicest people here because it makes you look like even more of a foul, utterly unlikeable wart than you already are."

Snape's expression could have curdled milk. "And you?" he asked. "Let me guess? I'm jealous of you too."

"Snivvy, I think you're jealous of everyone," Sirius said. "But if I had to guess your reasons concerning me, it would probably be because I can fly in a straight line when I'm on a broomstick, because I've kissed more girls than you've ever talked to and because I know how to use a shower."

"I think you think too much of yourself, Black," Snape said.

"I think I was under-exaggerating, actually," Sirius said. "I left off that I know how to open a shampoo bottle." Snape flushed an ugly pink colour. For a second, Sirius thought he might have crushed his confidence enough that he'd slink back to the Slytherin Common Room and stay there for the rest of the night, but he was sadly mistaken.

Snape looked up, his yellow teeth bared in a smile. "Is that what Lupin's doing in the Whomping Willow? Learning to open shampoo bottles?"

Sirius snarled. "No, Snivellus."

"Then what is he doing?"

Sirius threw his arms up. "You know what? If you're so damn interested, why don't you go see for yourself?"

Snape's face soured. "I can't. The tree... Davey Gudgeon, remember?"

"There's a knot," Sirius said, frustrated. "Find a long stick and give it a prod." _And then, Moony will eat you and you'll never bother me again, _he thought happily. He chuckled at the thought. And then he frowned. _No, wait..._

"The tree?" Snape asked. "Poke the knot on the tree?"

_No. No, no no. Moony'll kill me. And Snape. And then Moony'll kill himself. _"That's not what I said," Sirius said, tripping over the words. "I take it back."

Snape smiled. "Too late for that."

_Oh, no it's not_, Sirius thought grimly, pulling his wand. "_Obliviate!_" he shouted, but Snape dove out of the way and took off running, his robes flapping behind him. Sirius chased him, still trying to clear his memory of the last few minutes but Snape was too quick, blocking the spells. "Sniv- Snape, wait!" Sirius shouted.

"Nice try, Black," Snape called, still running. "_Pedis Offensio!"_

Sirius didn't get his wand up in time and fell flat on his face as the Tripping Jinx hit him. _Damn. Damn, damn, damn!_ Sirius pushed himself up off the ground and fumbled with his mirror. "James Potter," he said, his voice shaking as he ran through the corridors.

"Padfoot?" James asked as his face swum into view, framed by the boy's dormitory. "Where are you? Wormtail and I have been waiting for ages."

"Prongs, I fucked up," he said. "B-badly."

"What happened?" James asked sharply. "Where are you?"

"Just-just coming into the Common Room now," Sirius told him.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Poppycock. Jamie, I didn't mean to, I swear!" Sirius was running now, taking the stairs to their dormitory two at a time. He reached the fourth landing and shoved the door open.

"Didn't mean to do what?" James asked, his voice coming from the mirror and from James himself, who was sitting on his bed, tying his shoelace.

Sirius threw his mirror down onto his bed and turned to James. "I didn't mean to," he half-sobbed. "Moony- I told Snivellus- the Willow."

James' expression turned deadly. "You did _what_?" he asked.

"I told him - Snivellus - the knot and the tree and then he ran-"

"Snape's gone to see Moony?" James asked. Sirius didn't think he'd ever seen him looking so angry. Peter, who was sitting on his bed, just looked scared.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cried.

James tore out of the room without another word. _Probably off to tell Dumbledore,_ Sirius thought miserably. "He forgot his other shoe," Peter said, bemused.

"Right, now, Wormtail," Sirius snapped, "I don't think he gives a damn." Sirius wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground. James surely hated him and come morning, once Remus found out what happened, he would too. Sirius lay there, wallowing in self-pity until something clicked in his head. He sat upright.

James wouldn't have gone to get Professor Dumbledore. There wasn't time. Not in James' mind, anyway if Sirius knew James half as well as he thought he did. _He's gone to save Snivellus,_ Sirius realised, taking a shaky breath. His eyes fell on James' bedside table. There was a Quidditch magazine, an unopened box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans that he'd put there to tempt Sirius, an Godric Gryffindor chocolate frog card and James' wand.

"No," Sirius breathed. "Prongs, you've got to be the world's biggest prat!" He snatched the mahogany wand up and sprinted out the dormitory door.

He didn't stop until he reached the first floor, whereupon he burst through Professor McGonagall's office door. "Mr Black!" she cried, so shocked she'd upended a bottle of ink on the letter she was writing.

"No time, Professor," he gasped, clutching his side. "Snape knows about Remus. He's gone down there. I told him how to but I didn't mean it! James went to stop him but he doesn't have his wand." Professor McGonagall was gaping at him. "Professor, please!" Sirius shouted.

"But students aren't supposed to know," she said, blinking.

"That's not important right now!" Sirius bellowed.

She nodded and picked up a quill. _Headmaster,_ she wrote. Sirius didn't wait to see what would come next. Convinced now that she would alert anyone that needed to know about the incident, he took off again, after James. "Mr Black!?" he heard behind him.

"Not now, Minnie!" he shouted.

"MR BLACK, COME BACK IMMEDIATELY!"

"I WILL! IMMEDIATELY AFTER I'VE HELPED JAMES!" And then he was out of hearing range. He ran through the Entrance Hall - eerily, he was the only one around, so every footstep echoed - and burst through the doors and onto the grounds. "Prongs?!" he hissed, not really expecting an answer. Still, he was worried when none came.

He froze the Willow without breaking his stride and threw himself through the gap at the base.

**Some would call him stupid, vain, or arrogant, or maybe all of those things. Those who knew him better would call his arrogance confidence and say that this made him reckless, but that that he was too bright to be stupid. And then they'd probably chuckle and agree that yes, he could be vain. **

**These groups of people - friends, acquaintances or enemies - would all agree on one thing, however. Some would do so grudgingly, followed by a snide remark about this making him weak, some would shrug and nod, while others would grin and cheekily suggest it was a side-effect of his Animagus form; Sirius Black was a lot of things, they'd tell you, but he was not, ****_ever_****, disloyal.**


	2. Chapter 2 - James

**_And instinct takes over... because in that moment we don't think and just act - James._**

"It doesn't matter how small it is!" James cried, exasperated. "You can turn a pebble into an elephant if you can see the similarities and if you can see the differences!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" Peter said, throwing his quill down in frustration.

James took a deep breath, hoping Sirius would hurry up; Peter had realised Sirius was running late and had decided it was the perfect moment to get James to help him with his Transfiguration homework. "It does! If it's similar, you know what can stay the same. If there are differences, you know what _does_ need to change and you can just do it."

"But it's small!"

"That's a difference. It's just like an Engorgement Charm."

"But that's a different spell!"

"You just work it into the incantation!" James realised he was shouting and that Peter still wasn't getting it. "What about a boulder? A boulder the size of an elephant. Could you turn that into an elephant?"

"I think so," Peter said. "Because they're both big and grey."

"Exactly," James said. "So those are similarities."

Peter's eyes brightened and he nodded. "And a difference would be that it didn't have a trunk, right?"

"Yeah, that's one of them. The biggest one is that it's alive," James said.

Peter nodded again. "Makes sense, I suppose. How do you overcome size, then?"

"Like I said, you work the Engorgement Charm into the incantation."

"How?"

"There are two ways, basically," James said. "The first way is the one most people use - they use some of their own magic to give the thing - let's keep it as a pebble for now - energy. Basically," he said, suppressing a sigh when he saw he'd lost Peter, "their own energy is making the pebble grow at the same time it's making it change into the elephant. It's a good method to use if you want something done quickly, but it'll also tire you out."

"So it's optional?"

"Sometimes. Self-transfiguration, like when we transform, has to use our own bodily energy." James considered explaining why but then shook his head. _Not tonight._ "That's just the way the spell works."

"I don't get tired, though," Peter said, frowning.

"You would when you change back," James said. "Firstly, because you're not using a wand so there's no channelling medium and secondly because you have to get big again."

"Oh!"

"And if you were to make a rat using a similar incantation to the one you use to transform, the energy would come from you as well." Peter nodded. "The second method," James said, "uses energy from the thing itself, or, if you're somewhere like Hogwarts where there's strong magical residue, from your surroundings."

"But what if it's a rock?" Peter asked, puzzled. "Rocks don't have energy."

"You have to cast magic through time," James said, fearing trying to explain this was futile. "It's possible to take energy from the thing that you're trying to create because anything that's alive has energy. And if you take that energy, you can give it to the thing you're trying to change."

"Huh?" Peter asked, looking dumfounded.

"Basically, you have to take energy from something that's not going to exist for a few seconds and use it to create the thing you're taking energy from in the first place."

Peter's eyes crossed as they sometimes did when he was struggling to understand something. Finally he asked, "What if neither thing is alive? What if it's that needle-matchstick one first years always do?"

"It's almost easier just to use you own energy," James said. "The two are so similar and they're roughly the same size, _and_ you've got a wand. You could do it all day and not feel tired. But, if you did want to use the second method, you'd take energy from the process itself. It takes energy to change something, right, so you take the energy from what's about to happen and use that to make it happen."

Peter blinked rapidly and then collapsed onto his mattress with a groan. "I _hate_ Transfiguration!" he declared.

James sniggered. "James Potter!" Sirius' trembling voice echoed through the dormitory.

James scooped his mirror off his bedside table. "Padfoot?" Sirius was pale and his surroundings were blurred which meant he was running. "Where are you? Wormtail and I have been waiting for ages."

"Prongs, I fucked up," Sirius said bluntly. "B-badly."

"What happened?" James demanded, worried. "Where are you?"

"Just-just coming into the Common Room now," Sirius said.

"What's happening?" Peter asked.

"No clue," James said. But he was worried; Sirius was upset about something _and _he was running, so it was probably urgent.

"Poppycock," they heard Sirius say. James pulled one of his trainers out from under his bed. "Jamie, I didn't mean to, I swear!" There was thumping outside the door and then it burst open to admit a harried looking Sirius.

"Didn't mean to do what?" James asked, tying his shoelace.

Sirius threw his mirror down and spun. "I didn't mean to," he said piteously. "Moony- I told Snivellus- the Willow."

"You did _what_?" James asked in a deadly voice.

"I told him - Snivellus - the knot and the tree and then he ran-"

"Snape's gone to see Moony?" James asked, livid. _What was Sirius thinking?! And Snape!? He knows, I'm sure he does! Surely he realises it's dangerous? What if he dies? Remus'll have a life on his hands and so will Sirius. They'll be murderers, accidentally of course - I can't believe Sirius would do something like this on purpose and Remus doesn't have much control over himself at the moment - but neither of them will see it that way. _

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cried. _He's probably going into shock,_ James realised. _I don't think I'd be thinking clearly if I was him. Peter's certainly not going to do anything about this and by the time anyone explains this to a teacher Sniv- Snape could well be dead and no matter how much we hate him, none of us want that!_

James threw himself off his bed and out of the dormitory. _Please don't let me be too late!_

He reached the grounds in record time - he'd taken every shortcut he knew and he'd sprinted the whole way. His legs were burning and his sweaty hair was sticking to his face but he didn't dare stop. He felt his magic responding to his stress and threw it at the knot on the Whomping Willow. It froze instantly and James didn't even need to stop before he dove through the gap between the roots.

In the tunnel it was silent and dark. James fumbled for his wand but it wasn't in his pocket. He shrugged it off._No wand, then. I hope I don't regret that. _He continued down the tunnel as quietly as possible, one hand tracing the earthy wall. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the tunnel began to slope upward and then there was the familiar twist. As he rounded the corner, the scent of Snape became stronger and a moment later, he walked right into the back of the other boy.

Snape let out a tiny yelp and twisted, pressing his wand into James' throat. "Potter?" He growled, sounding shocked and irritated at the same time. James shoved the wand away and pressed a finger to his lips, his eyes adjusting enough to see the slightly open door that connected the tunnel to the Shack. Snape rolled his eyes. "Scared I'll disturb your friend?"

"Shh," James breathed. He could hear movement behind the door. He grabbed Snape's arm and tried to pull him back up the tunnel.

Snape shrugged him off. "No! Not until I see."

"Don't be thick! Let's go!"

"_Shh!_" Snape said. He crept forward and gave the door a push. "No!" James hissed as the door swung open with a loud creak. Snape took another step forward, looking around at the mauled furniture and boarded windows with a curious expression. "We need to get out of here!"

"Not yet." There was a low growl and then something moved in the hallway across the room. Snape whimpered. Moony saw them and growled, his pupils dilating with savage excitement. His ears pricked up and his lips lifted to show his long, white teeth. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit- _Moony growled again and trotted into the living area.

Snape whimpered and tried to take a step back but James' fingers dug into his arm, holding him in place. "Don't move," he told him without moving his lips. "If you run, he'll chase you. Do you understand?" Snape paled and nodded. James turned back to the wolf who was watching the interaction with interest, only three yards away. "Hi, Moony," James said weakly. The wolf's eyes brightened and his tail made a funny movement that could have been a wag. "How are you feeling?" The wolf cocked his head to the side, brown eyes fixed on the boys. James didn't like the way he was looking at them at all. "No, Moony," he said. "We're not dinner, we're friends. Or at least I am. This git here's not a friend but I'll be very cross if you eat him." The wolf took a slow step forward, sniffing curiously.

"We're going to die," Snape whimpered.

"And who's fault is that?" James snapped. "Moony, that's a little close. Back off a bit, mate." Moony growled. "Or not," James said. "Just don't come any closer." Moony sniffed the air again. "That's right," James said. "You know who I am. You don't want to hurt me."

"He's not a dog, Potter," Snape hissed. "He's a monster. Talking's not going to get us anywhere."

"How about you shut up," James said. "Talking seems to be working so far and I don't see you with any better ideas."

"I'm going to Stun it," Snape said decisively.

"Him," James said. "It won't work. Not if you're the only one casting."

"Help me then," Snape said.

"No wand," James said with a grimace, keeping a careful eye on Moony. The wolf wasn't aggressive yet, which was surprising, but then again, he probably hadn't seen humans before. And it had always been in Moony's nature to be curious. _Let's just hope he doesn't get bored of us and decide we're more interesting dead._

"I suppose you were so worried for my well-being that you forgot it, did you?" Snape said mockingly.

"Yes, actually," James said.

Snape didn't seem to know if he was joking or not. "I'll kill it, then," he said, lifting his wand. "Better it dies than both of us."

"Don't you fucking dare!" James said, forcing his wand down. Moony snarled. James took a deep breath. "When I say so, run for the door. Slam it behind you."

"And leave you in here?" Snape asked. "With no wand?"

"He's my friend," James said, still watching Moony. _Or at least he will be as soon as he recognises Prongs..._ "He won't hurt me."

"If you're so arrogant that you believe that then you deserve to die," Snape said.

"Run," James told him. Snape ran. Moony lunged for the greasy haired boy but James dove at the wolf, tackling him to the ground. Moony dropped with a coughing sound, Snape slammed the door and James morphed into Prongs the second he hit the floor.

Moony bounced up, snarling and then saw Prongs. His ears pricked again and his tongue lolled as he bounced over to say hello. He sniffed James once, not sure what to make of it and then looked around as if he expected Padfoot and Wormtail to leap out from under the ruined couch. When they didn't, his scent became sulky and he turned on James, growling again. James backed away, careful not to let Moony get between him and the door.

He could still hear Snape's heart pounding and realised he hadn't run up the tunnel like he'd agreed to. _What's he playing at?_ James wondered, dodging a nip from Moony. The wolf didn't seem able to decide if he was happy to have Prongs there, sad that Padfoot _wasn't_ there or angry that Snape had got away. Prongs backed up against the door, wondering how to get back into the tunnel; he'd have to change back to open the door, that much was obvious, and he'd have to do that soon, before Snape or anyone else could come to try to 'help' him.

Moony darted forward playfully and nipped at Prongs' foreleg. Prongs bleated as the wolf's teeth grazed his skin. Moony back off looking apologetic. Prongs tossed his head - making Moony retreat more - trying to look hurt, but in an annoyed way, not a vulnerable way. Moony retreated to the hallway, his tufted tail tucked between his legs. _Now's my best chance_, James thought. His flank touched the wood of the door and he transformed, one hand already groping for the doorknob. He wrenched the door open and flung himself through it before Moony could work out what had happened. He landed in the tunnel as the door slammed shut and looked up to see Snape's now gleeful face.

"What?" he asked.

"You're bleeding," Snape said. James surveyed his hand. He had a long cut - fairly deep but not life-threatening - from the crook of his arm to the wedge of skin between his thumb and his forefinger. He shrugged. "I thought you said it wouldn't hurt you."

"He didn't," James said. "That happened when I landed."

"No it didn't."

"It did."

"There's nothing on the ground!"

"There was a rock. A large, very sharp rock," James said, getting to his feet.

"Where?"

"On the ground."

"You can spout nonsense all you like, Potter, but I think it'll become pretty clear what happened this time next month."

"If you say so," James said. "Now - and this is the last time I'll say it before I physically force you - let's _go_."

Snape followed with one last cruel smile at the door. "You'll be expelled for this, Potter," Snape said gleefully. "You and Black and your other... friend. You planned this, didn't you, but it backfired."

"Planned this?" James said incredulously.

"You did. You chickened out though. You decided not to go through with it."

"I saved your life," James said.

"You saved your own skin," Snape told him. _Ungrateful git,_ James thought darkly. "Nothing more. But now I'm alive to tell the teachers."

"Tell them what?"

"About your little plan to have me killed."

"I saved you!" James bellowed. "What part of that did you miss?"

"I doubt Black or Lupin will be happy to hear you ruined their little game."

"I think they'll be thrilled," James said.

"They're monsters, both of them."

"I think you should take a good look at yourself before you start calling other people monsters," James said coldly. "Sirius and Remus don't skulk around hoping to get other people expelled. They don't hang around with Death Eaters, or curse muggleborns or-"

"He's a Werewolf! And Black's a murderer!"

"You would have been too," James said. "You were ready to kill Remus."

"To save our lives!"

"To save your life," James corrected. "Don't pretend it was ever anything more. You buggered off out the door the second I told you to. If anyone here tonight's been interested in saving their own skin, it's you."

Snape gave him a sour look. "You think you're special, Potter, because you're _noble_ and _brave?_" Something snuffled in the dark in front of them. "You think-"

"-Shut up," James said.

"Or what, Potter?"

"I said shut up!" James whispered as he heard the sound again. "I can hear something."

"I don't hear anything," Snape said, sounding grumpy. James punched him in the stomach, not hard, but hard enough to shut him up. Snape groaned. "You didn't have to hit me!"

"Then stop talking," James growled. The boys stopped walking. Something snarled, low and menacing. "Light your wand," James told Snape.

"No, then it'll know we're here!"

"I think it already does," James said, his voice sounding strained. "And I've got no chance of talking my way out of this one; Remus is _behind_ us." Snape made a funny "eep" sound but he lit his wand. _First useful thing he's done all night._ "Hold it up," James ordered as the thing growled again. James stepped in front of Snape as a huge black shape moved into the circle of wandlight. He sagged with relief.

"There's another one," Snape squeaked. And then he fainted. Sirius morphed back.

James rolled his eyes but he was weak at the knees and Sirius had to run forward to catch him when they gave way. "You arse," James said, smacking his shoulder. "You complete _arse_."

"I have your wand," Sirius said handing it over. James took it gratefully. "Are you hurt? Either of you?"

"Moony's fine and Snivellus was until he saw you," James said, not sure who Sirius meant by 'either'. Then he made a face. "My arm."

"He didn't-?" Sirius asked, sounding horrified. He examined the cut and healed it with a tap of his wand.

"No. I was Prongs at the time," James said tiredly.

Sirius looked relieved and then bristled. "So Snivvy knows? About us?!"

"Of course not," James snapped. "_I _can keep my mouth shut." Sirius hung his head but not before James could see that his eyes had filled with tears. "Pads," James said, reaching for his shoulder.

"Don't," Sirius said, shrugging out of reach. He wiped his face on his sleeve. "I was an idiot, Prongs! I almost got someone killed! I told Moony's biggest secret! And I almost got you killed too because I wasn't thinking clearly enough to go after the git myself!"

"If you'd gone after him while you weren't thinking clearly you both could have been killed," James said. "I'm not going to pretend I'm not mad, because I'm pissed. It was a stupid thing of you to do." Sirius sniffed, nodding. "The only reason I'm even talking to you right now is because I don't think you did it on purpose."

"I didn't! I wouldn't! I already told you I didn't mean to! It just happened and I_ tried_ to take it back!" Poor Sirius was crying now; he'd sunk to the floor of the tunnel and was holding his head in his hands.

"I don't doubt it," James said honestly. He glanced at his best friend's face. "I don't hate you, Pads. I know you're thinking I do."

"You should," Sirius said, wiping his eyes.

"Probably," James agreed. "But I don't." Sirius sniffled. "Grab an end," James said, gesturing to Snape.

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "I don't want to touch him," he whined.

"Don't," James said, his voice hard. "This _is_ your fault - not all of it because Snivellus was thick to listen to you and come down here in the first place and even more so when he didn't listen when I tried to bring him back up - but enough that you should at least take some responsibility." James folded his arms and fixed Sirius with his most serious look. Sirius looked ready to crumble but he nodded and grabbed Snape's sock-covered feet.

"We're going to be expelled."

James snorted. "Yes, because this is the first time it's ever been a possibility." Sirius grinned and wiped his eyes with his free hand. "Look," James said. "I'm going to argue antler and hoof when we get to the professors and try to save both our arses. We're not going anywhere without a fight."

"I deserve to be exp-"

"Don't start," James said. "If you go all Moony-ish on me now, I'll feed you to the giant squid." Sirius sniggered at that. "Besides," James continued, "you're down here now, helping me carry this git. That counts for something. A lot, actually."

Sirius seemed to fight with everything he had not to break down there and then and start crying again. "I'm sorry," he sniffed. "I really didn't want this to happen." He sniffed loudly and then James heard him swallow. "When-when the time comes... I want to be the one to tell Moony."

James would have been disappointed by anything less. If there was any doubt in his mind about Sirius, it was gone now. He nodded. "I'm going to be there, though."

"Thanks," Sirius said, his voice cracking again. Sirius went out of the tunnel first - he'd reached out and prodded the knot on the trunk - and James followed. Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, Flitwick and Winters were assembled on the lawns, as were several students; James saw Rita, Bozo, Emmeline, Katelyn, Sylvia, the Bones siblings - Timothy, Edgar and Amelia - Narcissa and Reg, Alice, Marlene who was flirting with Ludo, and an eccentric Ravenclaw named Aislinne. Madam Pomfrey was there too and let out a cry of relief when she spotted them. Winters and Flitwick were trying to keep the students out of the way.

"Not a word," James muttered. Sirius nodded.

"Is he hurt?" Madam Pomfrey asked, nodding at Snape's limp form.

"No," James said. "He fainted when Sirius came. I think he thought it was..." He glanced at the students. Madam Pomfrey nodded.

Professor Dumbledore swept forward. "If you would revive Severus, Poppy," he said. He fixed James and Sirius with sombre blue eyes. "Talk to no one. The password is 'Toffee Apple'."

"Yes, sir," James said. Sirius nodded. They shuffled up the stairs and back into the school.

"We're so dead!" Sirius moaned as they climbed the Marble Staircase. "Bugger off," he snapped at Frank who backed off looking apologetic.

James had smaller worries. He was frowning at his feet. "Where's my other shoe?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You left it in the dorm, prat. Along with your wand."

"Why didn't you bring my shoe as well, then?" James asked.

"I wasn't thinking. Besides, you're the one who left without it in the first- You're trying to distract me!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Is it working?"

"It was," Sirius said sadly. "I ruined it."

James sniggered. "Toffee Apple," he told the gargoyle which leapt aside. The wall split revealing the all-too familiar staircase. With every step up, Sirius' stomach sank a little more, James could see it on his face. James conjured himself a simple wooden chair and Sirius did the same, looking extremely nervous. "It'll be all right," James said, reaching for his almost-brother's shoulder. Sirius forced a smile.

**People call James a bully, call him immature, lazy, arrogant and reckless. James himself would frown at the first, but agree that yes, he had been known to give other students a hard time, but rarely for the sake of it. Immaturity is all relative, he'd tell anyone, at and sixteen, maturity was hardly going to be his strong suit, though he liked to think he was growing up. He'd be rather annoyed if you told him he was lazy, but he'd never say so. He'd let you think what you would, and then he'd go to captain Quidditch trainings, making sure to push himself as hard as his team and then he'd wake up before dawn the next morning to do his homework and Peter's. **

**As for arrogant, James would be the first to admit that he'd certainly had his moments and then a moment later, he'd try to convince you - and himself - that there was more to him than that. Recklessness, well, James wasn't overly fond of the word but he'd concede that every now and then he didn't stop to think out the consequences and just went with his instincts. Still, if his instincts were to run, unarmed into danger to save his enemy... it was silly, maybe but it certainly didn't make him a bad person.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Severus

**_Those moments show who we are and what we're made of - Severus._**

"After you," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the office door. Severus sighed and stalked through. Potter and Black were already sitting on conjured chairs, the former with his hand on the latter's shoulder. Snape curled his lip, conjured his own chair and sat.

Slughorn, McGongall and Dumbledore also seated themselves and Headmaster had the gall to offer everyone sweets before he spoke. "Mr Black," he said. "Is is true that you told Mr Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow?"

"Yes, sir," Black said, staring at his shoes.

"Could you explain why, please?" Black winced, looking like he wanted to sink into the floor but Severus wasn't sure why; Dumbledore hadn't even raised his voice.

"He wanted to kill me," Severus said.

"Mr Snape," Dumbledore said. "If I'd like you opinion, I shall ask for it." Severus glowered at the old man.

"It just slipped out," Black said miserably._ Sure_, Severus thought venomously. _You were trying to kill me and you know it. _ "He was bothering me. He said he'd seen Remus going down with Madam Pomfrey tonight and kept asking why. I didn't mean to tell him. I really didn't."

"You wanted me dead," Severus snarled.

"I didn't, I swear," Black said, looking at Dumbledore who nodded and turned to Potter. _And you believed that?_

"What was your part in all this?"

Potter looked the Headmaster straight in the eye. Severus had to respect him a little for that - grudgingly, of course - since Dumbledore's gaze could be rather disconcerting and certainly was now. "Sirius came straight to me after he told. He was so worried he couldn't even think straight. I ran after Snape."

"What happened in the tunnel?"

"We were almost eaten by Potter's pet monster," Severus muttered. McGonagall made an angry noise, like a cat being stepped on. Black's hands curled into fists and Potter's jaw tightened.

He turned to Severus. "Clearly you weren't listening before, Severus, when the Headmaster told you to keep your opinions to yourself until you're asked to share them." Potter turned back to Dumbledore. "Snape got there before me. He was halfway to the Shrieking Shack when I caught up with him. Remus saw us because the door was open - I don't know how."

"You left it open so you could kill me!" Severus snapped. He wanted them expelled for Salazar's sake!

Potter ignored him but Black looked pissed. "I talked to him, trying to keep him calm, remind him that we were friends, that he didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Yes, and then he bit you," Severus said.

McGonagall gasped, Slughorn went pale and Black and Potter exchanged a look. Potter was clearly the spokesperson for the pair which was bad. Potter was less likely to lose his temper or put his foot in his mouth and Potter - if given half a chance - would probably talk their way out of this. "You were bitten?" Dumbledore asked, looking grim.

Potter glanced at Severus. "No... I'm not quite sure what he's talking about, sir."

"Your arm!" Severus shouted, furious. "I saw it! When you came out of the room, you were bleeding!"

Potter was making quite a show of examining his arms and even held them out to Black for inspection. "They look fine to me," Black said brightly.

Dumbledore examined them and then Severus, unable to take it anymore, grabbed Potter's hand himself and turned it over, looking for the injury. There was nothing. Not even a scar. "You've healed it!" he said, dropping the hand in disgust. Potter wiped it on his jeans, seeming mildly revolted. Severus clenched his teeth. "It was only small so it wouldn't scar."

"Any injury that transmits lycanthropy will scar," Potter and Black said together, with Dumbledore and Slughorn only a moment behind. "So clearly I wasn't bitten."

"You were bleeding!"

Potter turned to Dumbledore looking concerned. "He's not concussed, is he?"

"Poppy didn't think so. Now, you were talking to Mr Lupin."

"Oh, yeah, er, well, he sort of seemed to recognise me and maybe even Snape. He didn't seem to like having Snape there and Snape was all for trying to kill him-"

"He deserves to be put down," Severus muttered.

Black lifted his fist so quickly Severus hardly saw, and even quicker, Potter had smothered what was sure to have been a painful blow. Then Potter snapped his own fist back and it collided with Severus' jaw. He doubled over, clutching his face. The teachers were on their feet but Potter made no move to attack him again.

"How dare you!" Potter snarled, eyes blazing. The air seemed to thrum with power and Slughorn looked quite unnerved. The papers on Dumbledore's desk fluttered but the window was shut and Severus doubted wind was strong enough to knock books off the shelves.

"Prongs," Black said quietly. Something flickered in Potter's eyes and with a last look at Severus he sank back into his chair. _If looks could kill_, Severus thought.

"Five points from Gryffindor for attacking another student," McGonagall told Potter. "And ten from you, Snape, for speaking about your classmates in such a derogatory manner."

"He almost killed me and he only loses five points?!"

"Thus far, the only one to talk about killing is you, Mr Snape," she said sharply, her nostrils flaring. Severus felt his cheeks heat up.

"Anyway," Potter said, "I sent Snape back out into the tunnel-"

"You were alone with Lupin!?" Slughorn asked.

"I'm alone with him a lot," Potter said coolly.

"Not when he's in wolf-form," Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not," Potter said easily. "But what difference does it make? A little extra fur's the only real difference. I'd still be his friend if he decided to grow a beard." Black's lips twitched and his eyes flicked to Dumbledore.

"A little extra fur?" McGonagall repeated faintly. "You foolish boy!"

Potter shrugged that comment off. "It's true. Anyway, I sent Snape out, talked Remus into going back into the Shack's hallway and then ran for the door."

"Was he responsive?"

"Sort of," Potter said. "He fought with himself for a bit. One minute he'd be coming right for me and the next he'd have thrown himself to the ground. He never got closer than three yards though. I shut the door and then we were heading up when we ran into Sirius. Snape fainted and we carried him the rest of the way."

"It wasn't Black!" Severus spat. "It was a wolf!"

"He looks human enough to me," Potter said coldly. "Unless you're implying that Sirius was also bitten or that he can somehow change into a werewolf and back again at will-"

"I know what I saw!"

Potter stared at him, his face unreadable. "I know what I saw, which was you fainting when we heard Sirius coming."

"Because he was a wolf!"

"Yes, and my arm is also cut," Potter said. Black snorted. "You probably went into shock," Potter continued. "Speaking as the only person who was there the whole time, I can swear on my life that Sirius was the only one - aside from us, and Remus I suppose - that was down there."

"That brings us to the next point," Dumbledore said, steepling his fingers. "How long have you known about Mr Lupin's condition?"

"First year," Potter said. "We confronted him about it in second and he admitted everything."

"So early?" Dumbledore asked, looking surprised. Professor McGonagall was shaking her head, looking stunned.

"His Aunt Catherine had died three times," Potter said, shrugging.

Dumbledore's beard twitched. "Was tonight the first time you'd ever seen him transformed?"

"I didn't see him tonight," Black said, with half a look at Potter.

"Tonight was definitely a first," Potter agreed.

"And you, Mr Snape?"

"And me what?" Severus asked sourly. He knew they were lying but their story was airtight and he'd already made himself seem crazy enough.

"Did you know of Mr Lupin's condition?"

"I had my suspicions," he admitted.

"And you still went down there?" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Black told me to."

"And you listened," Potter said, sighing.

I had to, Severus thought. After the incident with Mulciber and MacDonald, Lily'd been distant. Impressively - because it was impossible to keep a secret at Hogwarts, Lily hadn't heard about his involvement - but she was furious with Mulciber and disappointed and angry that Severus couldn't control his Slytherin friends. She'd said MacDonald was her first priority at the moment and Severus had been pushed aside.

He could tolerate that, because it had sort of been his fault - not that he'd known what was happening, he'd just been standing guard - but while he was temporarily out of the picture, Potter was cosying up to Lily; she was being civil to Potter because he'd _saved_ MacDonald. Stupid Potter. Severus wished he'd been the one that stepped in and saved her. Lily'd have loved him for that.

Outing Potter, Black and Lupin was his way to redeem himself in Lily's eyes. He'd hoped she'd be so impressed by his bravery - Gryffindors liked things like that - and so amazed that he'd been right about Lupin that she'd forget what he'd called her. At the very least, Black, Potter and Lupin would be expelled and he wouldn't have to worry about Potter bothering Lily anymore. She'd thank him for that too, and things could go back to how they'd been.

"And," said Potter, "you ignored me when I told you we had to leave. We could have escaped before Remus even knew we were there."

"Is this true?" McGonagall asked, looking furious.

"Yes," Severus muttered unwillingly. "But if it wasn't a set-up, how do you explain the open door at the end of the tunnel?"

Black and Potter shared a look. "I can't," Potter said. "I don't know why it was open."

"Liar," Severus spat.

Potter's eyes met his, bold and knowing. "Prove it," he mouthed. No one else noticed, except for Black who looked away. "I can't offer a reason for the door being open," Potter told the teachers.

The worst part was, that if Severus hadn't known the truth, he might have believed him. "You can."

"No, I can't."

"Enough," Dumbledore said tiredly. "Kindly explain, Mr Snape, what you were thinking when you went down there tonight."

_I wanted them expelled!_ But he couldn't say that. "I don't know, sir," he said, hanging his head. "I suppose I was just curious. I didn't actually think there'd be any danger. I didn't think they were trying to kill me."

"Trying to kill you?" Potter repeated as if he was daft. "Damn, what gave me away? Was it the running down after you with one shoe and no wand or was it the part where I stayed in a room alone, defenceless, with a werewolf so that you could get away?"

Severus ground his teeth together. "You were saving Black's skin," he said.

"Sirius wasn't the git thick enough to go looking for a werewolf!" Potter said.

"Black told me to go."

"And you listened. And when you should have listened - while I was telling you not to go down there - you didn't!"

"Aside from anything else," Dumbledore said, holding up a hand, "you put Mr Potter's life at risk by ignoring his warnings."

Severus opened his mouth and closed it again. _That's why I stayed behind._ James Potter was doomed to die young - foolish, brave idiot that he was - but James Potter dying in a tragic accident, or even worse, James Potter dying while trying to save his life...? Severus didn't think he'd be able to handle it. He'd never, ever admit it, but he'd been very, very close to opening the door, killing the Lupin monstrosity and dragging Potter back up the tunnel. He'd have been a hero.

But then Potter had emerged with that cut on his arm and he'd been thrilled that perfect Potter might not be so perfect anymore. Only now the cut was gone, Potter was a hero, Black was going to get off with no punishment and he, Severus, looked like Britain's biggest dunderhead. Life wasn't fair.

"Mr Potter, you will not receive any points for tonight's heroics. Mr Black, you will lose fifty points from Gryffindor and serve detention every evening for the rest of the week. Aside from that, your guilt should serve as punishment enough-"

"Could I ask one more thing?" Black asked. Dumbledore inclined his head. Black looked at Potter. "I'd like to be the one to tell Remus what almost happened. He deserves to hear it from me."

Severus gaped at him, as did Slughorn. McGonagall looked proud. "Very well. I shall leave that up to you," Dumbledore said, before turning his blue gaze on Severus. "You will lose forty points for what has happened here tonight." Severus felt slightly cheered by losing less than Black but then he remembered he'd lost ten earlier. "You are also forbidden to tell anyone the truth about Mr Lupin's condition for obvious reasons." Potter and Black looked relieved.

"Yes, sir," Severus said stiffly.

"Do either of you have anything to add?" Dumbledore asked, glancing at Professors Slughorn and McGonagall.

"Only that I expect better in the future," McGonagall said, her nostrils flaring as she glanced at Potter and Black. "Accidental or not, you put lives in danger tonight, Mr Black, and Mr Potter-" She didn't seem to know whether to be angry or proud of him so she said nothing for a moment. Then, "I must commend you both - and Mr Pettigrew, presumably - on your handling of Mr Lupin's condition thus far." She stared them down. Black looked perilously close to sinking through his chair and into the floor. "I expect it will remain commendable."

"Of course, Minnie," Potter said gravely.

She sighed and said something Severus didn't catch; at that moment, Slughorn turned to him. "Have you learned your lesson?"

Severus had learned a great many things tonight but he doubted any of them counted as lessons. "Yes, sir," he said.

"You may leave," McGonagall said to the three of them.

"No," Dumbledore said. "Mr Black, you may go. Straight to the dormitories if you wouldn't mind. I'll tell Poppy to expect you first thing in the morning."

Black shared a glance with Potter and nodded. "Thank you, sir." He left.

"Minerva, Horace?" The Professors filed out.

"Are we in more trouble, sir?" Potter asked tentatively.

"No, no, nothing like that," Dumbledore assured them both. "Would either of you care for a lemon drop?"

"No," Severus said, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, please," Potter said and took one from the offered bowl.

The old man took a sweet for himself and took a very long time to unwrap it and began to fiddle with the wrapper afterward. "What's this about?" Severus asked impatiently.

"James saved your life tonight, Severus," Dumbledore said, setting the wrapper aside.

_Thank you for reminding me._ "Right."

"When such an occurrence arises, a bond is created between the two. This bond is known as a life-debt."

"I know what a life-debt is," Severus said annoyed and was pleased to see the Headmaster looked surprised. And then what he'd said sunk in._ I'm in debt to James bloody Potter. _Severus slumped in his chair.

"I see you've realised the significance," Dumbledore said quietly. "What has happened tonight may well affect both of you for the rest of your lives, and perhaps beyond."

"What's a life-debt?" Potter asked, confused.

"The name's fairly self explanatory," Severus said. "Or perhaps you're too thick to work it out."

"If you're in my debt, shut up," Potter said. Severus found he couldn't talk. He looked to Dumbledore for help.

"James, release it," Dumbledore said warningly.

"He's just pretending," Potter said. "Isn't he?" Severus glared at him and tried to tell him he most certainly wasn't, and couldn't. "What do I do?" Potter asked Dumbledore, looking panicked.

"Release him," Dumbledore said simply.

"_Finite_," Potter said quickly.

"Finite?" Severus mocked, now that he had his voice back. "Really, Potter?"

"It's a little unorthodox, perhaps, but it seems to have worked," Dumbledore said.

"Is that it then?" Severus asked hopefully. "The debt's gone now that he's called in his favour?" Was it possible Potter looked... relieved?

"No. The debt will not expire until the holder considers it ended."

"So I can just boss him around for the rest of our lives?" Potter asked, looking ill. "He'd have to listen to me?"

"No, it will expire on its own after a time..."

"But you just said-"

"It is extremely old, extremely complex magic. Picture it as a glass of water, perhaps. If you continue to drink it, it will empty eventually. You may not, however, need an entire glass to quench your thirst."

Potter nodded solemnly. "Can I just consider the debt paid for his being quiet? Please? I don't want it." Severus hardly dared believe his ears; if he'd had Potter in his debt, he'd make him squirm.

"You may try, if you wish but I doubt it will work that way. Bonds between enemies tend to be stronger because - as a rule - saving one's enemy is harder than saving one's friend. Those bonds need to be exhausted rather than released. You silencing Severus will hardly have made a dent in its power."

If Potter hadn't understood before, he did now. His eyes were huge. "But-but I don't want it!" One of Dumbledore's spindly silver instruments exploded.

"Well you have it," Severus snapped. "And I'm not terribly keen on the idea either." Potter stared at him. "If I have your leave, Professor, I'd like to return to my dormitory."

"Goodnight, Severus."

"Night," Potter said to him after a moment.

Severus ignored both of them and swept out of the room.

**He hated James Potter because James Potter was a threat. He hated James Potter because James Potter was almost his exact opposite. He was popular where Severus was not, a Quidditch player where Severus could hardly fly in a straight line, he had friends where Severus had only had a few wannabe Death Eaters and, of course Lily, though he didn't have her at the moment. It only made sense that if Lily didn't like him, she would like James. And that was unacceptable because it meant that James Potter would have won the only thing that truly mattered. The thing that was truly more important to Snape than sides in the war, than school work, than anything.**

**The worst part, if that was ever to happen, would be that Severus would know not only that James Potter was better than him - after all, Lily was a very good judge of character - but that Severus had accidentally pushed himself away and allowed Potter to get closer. All that remained for Severus to do now was to work on winning Lily back - she'd come around eventually, he knew - and in the meantime, try to keep James Potter and his hoard of misfits as far away from her as possible.**


	4. Chapter 4 - Peter

**_Those moments will test us and shape us into what we will become - Peter._**

"Didn't mean to do what?" James asked from his place on his bed.

Sirius threw his mirror down and turned to James. "I didn't mean to," he half-sobbed. "Moony- I told Snivellus- the Willow."

Peter gasped. _He _told?!_ And Snape of all people?!_

James was furious. "You did _what_?"

"I told him - Snivellus - the knot and the tree and then he ran-"

"Snape's gone to see Moony?" James asked. He looked so angry Peter was scared to say anything. He just sat, watching.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cried.

James flung himself off of his bed and charged through the door. Peter couldn't bring himself to look at Sirius; he looked so upset that Peter thought he might cry for him. Instead, he looked at the place where James had been. "He forgot his other shoe," Peter said, bemused.

"Right, now, Wormtail," Sirius snapped, "I don't think he gives a damn."

"Sorry," Peter squeaked, but he didn't think Sirius heard; he'd flopped onto his bed and was staring at the ceiling with an expression of utter self-loathing. "I'm sure it'll be all right. James will fix it." Sirius ignored him, and then sat bolt upright, eyes huge. He took a shaky breath. "What?" Peter asked.

Sirius was staring at James' bedside table. "No," Sirius whispered. "Prongs, you've got to be the world's biggest prat!" He grabbed something off the bedside table - it took Peter a moment to recognise James' wand - and then he was gone, out the dormitory door after James.

Peter sat there, stunned. _Maybe I should go and help them_, he thought tentatively. He stood and then shook his head and sat back down. _They can handle it. I'd just be in the way. And it wouldn't be that bad if Snape died, really. Remus would be a bit guilty about it but that isn't new. Snape wouldn't be able to bother me anymore. _That thought cheered him slightly. _So maybe I'll just stay here and see how things work out._

He pulled his homework back over and after a moment of reading over it, he was amazed to find that he understood what it was asking. Jame' explanations before hadn't helped him much at all; James was so good at Transfiguration that it wasn't fair and his explanations usually made Peter feel stupid because he never understood a word of what James was saying. Remus was fairly good at explaining things but he always felt like a burden.

Peter scribbled down an answer to question four. It wasn't expressed perfectly, but it wasn't wrong he didn't think. Perhaps he worked better alone, with homework at least, because while he was alone, he couldn't ask anyone to explain it which usually ended up with him more confused than he already was and there was no one looking over his shoulder to make him nervous about what he would write. Amazed, he realised it was probably the same with class work; he tended to work better alone than in pairs or groups because he wasn't stressing about messing up and making himself look stupid in front of his friends.

Peter had finished his Transfiguration, a Potions essay and a dream diary for Divination when Sirius slipped back into the dormitory.

"Hello," Peter called cheerfully.

There was a loud thump as Sirius jerked his head up in surprise, skidded on a loose sock and collided with his trunk. "Fuck," he groaned from the floor, clutching his leg. "Fucking- Pete- keep your things on your side of the room." The sock hit Peter in the face. Sirius picked himself up off the ground and dropped onto his bed, cradling his knee.

"Sorry," Peter mumbled, tossing the sock at his trunk. He wasn't neat by nature, though the other three were. It was always his things left lying around, though he was better than he'd used to be; in third year, Sirius and James had hidden his possessions if there were more than seven on the floor at any one time.

"S'all right," Sirius grunted. Then, "This is going to bruise."

"Where's James?" Peter asked.

"Still with Dumbledore."

"Why?"

"Because I almost killed someone, you prat!" Sirius snarled. "Because I'm the world's hugest git and I deserve to-"

"If _you_ almost killed someone, why is _James_ with Dumbledore?"

Sirius huffed. "No idea." He kicked off his shoes and sent them whizzing over to his trunk with his wand.

"So Snivellus didn't die?"

"No, thank Godric. Jamie got there in time."

"Oh. Well that's good, I suppose. Is Moony all right?"

"Fine, fine," Sirius said distractedly. His head twisted toward the dormitory door which opened a half second later to admit a weary looking James. "What did Dumbledore want?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing," James said.

"Prongs-"

"Really, Paddy, it's nothing," James snapped. Peter stared. James didn't usually get angry and especially not with _Sirius._

"I was just asking," Sirius said miserably.

"I know," James sighed. "It's got nothing to do with you and I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Sirius said.

"Can I know?" Peter asked hopefully.

"No," James said.

"What part of 'don't want to talk about it' did you not understand?" Sirius asked.

"I-"

James rounded on Sirius. "Don't get snippy with him!"

"He was being stupid!"

"You were being stupid before!" James shouted.

Sirius looked like he'd been hit. "Fine," he said, his eyes brimming with tears. "Fine." He sniffed once, threw himself off of his bed and ran to the door.

"No, Paddy-" James called, looking stricken. "Padfoot, wait!"

"Leave me alone," Sirius snapped.

James looked hurt. He stared at the door as it slammed behind Sirius. "What's his problem?" Peter asked anxiously.

James shot him a troubled look and ducked out the door. Peter heard shouting on the stairwell but couldn't make out any words. Eventually, the door burst open again and Sirius stormed back in, followed by James. James was nursing a bloodied nose and his glasses were askew but he looked rather pleased with himself. Sirius was fuming as he threw his trunk open and pulled out a pair of pyjamas.

"I'll be on the couch," Sirius growled.

"In the common room?" Peter asked.

"No, you won't," James said easily, stepping to intercept him.

"Leave me alone!" Sirius shouted, his face contorted. "I don't want to be here! I almost killed Snivellus, I almost killed _you_, I almost exposed Moony, I almost got us expelled and I fucking punched you and NOW I"M SHOUTING!"

Peter didn't know what to say. James did. "ME TOO!" James shouted back, not looking angry at all.

Sirius blinked. Then his lips trembled and he hung his head. It took Peter a moment to realise he was crying. He let out a quiet, shuddering breath and let James steer him over to his bed. Sirius - still crying - hit his pillow, repeatedly and when that didn't satisfy him, took out his wand and blasted it with a bolt of white light. James swore and hastily extinguished it. Sirius let out a little sound like a sob mixed with a laugh.

"Feel better yet?" James asked.

"No," Sirius sniffed.

"Chocolate frog?" James said, rummaging through Sirius' bedside table.

"You can't offer him his own chocolate frogs," Peter said. Sirius cried harder.

**Peter was an observer. He'd known before tonight, but he hadn't really understood it. It meant he could work best alone. He hadn't really missed his friends while they were off saving Snape. He'd enjoyed the alone time and he'd managed to get quite a bit done. He'd missed a lot - he wasn't sure what had unfolded that night, but that didn't bother him; he'd seen the aftermath and hadn't much wanted to be involved in that either. **

**They were different, he and his friends. He was almost positive they saw it, and he'd seen it from their first night in Hogwarts. He'd never been as smart or as brave or as good-looking. He'd never bonded the way the other three had. They were close, there was no denying that, but he wasn't telepathic like James and Sirius, he wasn't a dog like Sirius and Remus and he charismatic like Remus and James were. He was never going to be the same, he'd realised long ago, but now instead of being different by nature he wanted - somehow - to be different by choice... he needed some way to make himself equal to them or if it was possible, better.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Remus

**_And at that time, we surrender our facades and reveal our true selves to the world - Remus._**

"He's awake," Remus heard from somewhere near his left. He caught a sharp scent of fear from the same general direction.

"Wassgoinon?"he asked, shifting against the mattress. Everything hurt and he couldn't remember much at all. He'd had a horrible dream, though, about James and Snape. He remembered that.

"You had a rough night," James said, but something about his tone was off.

Remus forced his eyes open. James looked exhausted and was sitting in a chair by his hospital bed. Sirius was beside him, puffy eyed and dishevelled. Peter was nowhere in sight which was worrying; Peter followed James and Sirius like he a shadow unless there was going to be a confrontation.

"What's happened?" Remus croaked, pushing himself upright. James leaned forward to prop his pillows up. "Thank you. Padfoot? You look like you've been crying." And more unnervingly, Remus now realised the scent of fear was coming from him. "And you stink."

Sirius grimaced. "I should have known you'd smell it."

James cleared his throat. "What... er... what do you remember about last night, Moony?" he sounded uncharacteristically serious.

Remus shifted again and winced as his head throbbed. Sirius passed him a glass of water without a word. "Not much," he said truthfully taking a little sip. "I suppose that means you didn't come down, doesn't it?" Usually he remembered more when he'd been with them.

"You could say that," James said gravely.

Remus was a little hurt that they'd abandoned him but he was sure they had a good enough reason. "Why?" he asked.

Sirius was turning slowly paler. "I did something terrible," he said in a whisper.

"Poor Snape," Remus joked. Sirius made a choking noise and James looked stricken. "Snape?!" Remus asked. "What happened?"

Sirius made a funny whimpering noise. James glanced at him as if expecting something. "I...erm... well... he was... I told... the Willow..." Sirius said, clearly struggling.

"Spit it out," Remus said.

"SnapewaspissingmeoffsoItoldhimabouttheWhompingWil lowandhewentdownandJameswentdown  
andwecarriedhimoutandthenDumbledoretalkedandwewent backtothedormandIpunchedJamesandIstarted  
cryingandWormtaildidhomework," Sirius blurted.

"I'm sorry, what?" Remus asked. James looked like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time and he settled for an uncannily unreadable expression. "What happened?"

"I told Snape," Sirius said. "About the Willow."

"The Whomping Willow?" Remus asked flatly. Sirius nodded. "Well that was thick of you," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't mean to!" Sirius wailed.

"You're a prat," Remus said. "We'll just have to be more careful from now on."

"No," said Sirius, swallowing. "I-I think it's a bit late for that."

Suddenly, Remus remembered his dream. "You didn't," he snarled.

"I didn't mean to!" Sirius cried.

"And you let him?!" Remus shouted, rounding on James. "He could have been killed!" Then his eyes widened. "How far down did he get? I remember seeing him. I didn't-I didn't-" He stared wildly around but all the hospital beds were empty. "He's not-"

"No!" Sirius said quickly. "No, no, no, no. He's not hurt."

Remus didn't know whether to be relieved or angry. "How could you be so stupid?!" he asked Sirius. Sirius shrank into his chair. "And I suppose you were in on it?" he snapped at James, who flinched. "I bet you thought it was a great joke to send Snape down to be eaten! Did either of you stop to think about how I'd feel about this?!"

"Moony, stop shouting, please," Sirius begged.

"Shut up!" Remus yelled. "Get out!"

Sirius was on his feet and halfway to the door when James, who hadn't moved said, "Padfoot, sit." Sirius dropped to the floor instantly.

"Get out," Remus told them both. "I never want to see you again. Either of you."

James rolled his eyes. "Moony, calm down-"

"Shut the fuck up, James! And don't call me Moony!"

"Remus," James said, holding up a hand, "that's enough. Padfoot, get your arse back over here. Remus, you're angry and I can understand that-"

"No, you bloody can't!" Remus yelled. "If you understood it, you'd never have done it!" Sirius flinched.

"It was Sirius that did it, not me, so I'll thank you to stop carrying on and listen."

"I'm not listening to anything either of you-"

"Enough," James said flatly. Remus found he couldn't talk. He wasn't sure whether he'd run out of things to say or whether he'd been Silenced. He tried to get out of the bed so that he could walk away but he found he couldn't move either. "Now, what Sirius did was stupid," James said bluntly, "but he came to me straight away and told me what had happened. If you'd seen his face, Remus..." Remus' eyes flicked to Sirius who looked absolutely miserable. "I went after Snape."

"I know," Remus said. He frowned. "You were... talking... to me, I think?"

"I was," James said, nodding. "I forgot my wand so I didn't have much choice; the door was open like usual, so we wouldn't have had to transform back to get in to you and we had to go in or you might have come out."

"You forgot your wand?" Remus asked faintly.

"Stupid mistake," James said easily. He explained what had happened in the same calm voice and when he was finished he leaned back and watched Remus carefully.

"It's the stupidest thing I've ever done," Sirius said, his eyes very bright.

"Without a doubt," Remus said coldly. He didn't really want to look at Sirius right now.

"What happens now is up to you," James said, narrowing his eyes at Sirius. _So this part is Sirius' idea...?_Remus realised.

"Up to me?" he asked.

"If you want nothing to do with me, I'll never talk to you again," Sirius promised, looking upset but determined to follow through with whatever Remus chose. "If you want time or space to think about it, that's fine too." He didn't suggest that Remus could forgive him and move on. That wasn't an option and they both knew it.

"I want you to go," Remus said after a moment. "I want nothing to do with you from now on." James closed his eyes for a moment and then Sirius stood, nodded once, and left. "And where do you stand?" Remus asked James, coolly.

"With you," James said simply. "In this, at least. Sirius gave you the choice and you've chosen and I have to honour that."

"You're going to hate Sirius too?"

"Of course not," James said frostily. "I've already forgiven him. I'll continue to be friends with him and with you, but I won't force the two of you together."

"How can you have forgiven him?" Remus demanded. "After what he did to me?"

James watched him for a moment. "What he did to you isn't mine to forgive," he said at last. "That falls to you, which is why he made this decision and why you've made yours."

"We'll probably end up friends again," Remus said annoyed. "He's rather hard to avoid."

James' face closed over and he shook his head. "When we were talking about this last night, Sirius made it very clear that he would do exactly what you decided. If you want nothing to do with him, that's what you'll get."

_Fuck._ It was terribly like Sirius to do something like that. Remus almost wanted to take it back, but then he remembered what had happened and folded his arms resolutely. They'd been friends too long to simply fall apart over this and he knew they'd miss each other's company but perhaps it was for the best.

"So be it," he said. For some reason, getting what he wanted didn't make him feel any better.

**Remus had always had trust issues. It came with being a werewolf, he'd tell you, and in a society filled with prejudice, who could blame the poor boy? It had been the happiest day of his life when his friends had guessed and not cared in the least. After that, they'd had no secrets - except for where Remus hid his sweets - and even then, not for long. James he trusted the most because for James a lack of trust was more offensive than a fist in the stomach or the face. Once James trusted someone, he was theirs and they were his. It was as simple as that. **

**Sirius was a slightly different story. He like Remus, was careful who he allowed himself to trust; living with purebloods could do that to you. Sirius, though, who Remus had trusted more than anyone but James, Sirius who Remus had trusted more than his own parents, more than Dumbledore, had betrayed him. Remus wasn't sure what to think of that. Part of him blamed Sirius, part of him Snape. Some of him was too grateful to James to blame anyone. The largest part though, blamed himself; he couldn't control it, yet if he wasn't a werewolf, Snape knowing about the Willow wouldn't have been a problem at all. Hell, the Willow wouldn't even be there. This incident, as it always did, came back to him being a werewolf and he hated himself for it.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Lily

**_And whether we know it at the time, those moments determine the rest of our lives - Lily._**

"Lily, I was hoping that we could talk," Severus said, glancing at Lucius and Bellatrix, who were watching them with raised eyebrows. Mary, who was flanking Lily, took a small step back.

"Do you have permission?" Lily asked coolly. She still hadn't quite forgiven Severus for failing to keep Mulciber in line, though she knew he hadn't been involved; if he had, there's no way Mary or Potter would have kept that from her. And she was worried; she didn't want Sev hanging around with people like _that_. Would he start using dark magic too? Cruel as it was, she was hoping that by not speaking, she'd force him to pick her over some of his nastier Slytherin friends.

She didn't think he liked them all that much anyway - how could he? Sev was good - but he probably needed time to realise it on his own. She missed him, though, and he'd almost died under the Whomping Willow. She couldn't imagine what she'd do if he had died and they hadn't been on good terms.

"I don't need permission," he said, and Lily's heart lifted. "So, can we talk?"

"Not now," she said exasperated, but she felt a small smile pull at the corners of her mouth. "I'm about to go into Charms and I'm positive you're supposed to be in Herbology."

"After?" Severus asked. "Please?"

"I'll meet you in the courtyard," Lily said, quietly. Severus' face lit up in response and he strode away with a definite spring in his step. Lucius and Bellatrix gave her suspicious looks as they stalked after him.

"About time, Lily," Mary said quietly. "You know it wasn't his fault."

"I know," Lily said, "but it was starting to worry me. I mean, _he's_ evil." It was unspoken between them not to say Mulciber's name after what had happened the week before. Lily thought it was rather silly to be scared of a name but she'd rather feel silly than watch Mary go pale and tremble. "I can't bear the thought of Sev getting caught up in all that."

"You've still got me, though," Mary said after a long pause.

"Thank Merlin," Lily said drily, and the serious atmosphere between them vanished.

"You should be more grateful," Mary said, smiling. "Without me, you'd only have Sev."

"Godric forbid," Lily laughed, but it was true. Marlene and Alice were good friends but they were in the year below.

"And-" Mary continued.

"Shh!" Lily said; Professor Flitwick had just arrived.

Potter and Remus walked in late but Black wasn't with them. He hadn't been for the last two days, he hadn't been coming to breakfast which was strange too - everyone knew how much he liked his food - and he'd been sleeping on the common room couch instead of in his dormitory. Lily scanned the classroom quickly but Black wasn't there yet. Potter and Remus took the seat in front of her.

"Does he still even go here?" Remus whispered.

"Yes," James said. "I had breakfast with him this morning."

"How's that even possible?" Remus asked. "You had breakfast with Peter and me this morning."

Potter ruffled his hair. Lily had been tempted, more than once to cut it all off. "He's been having breakfast in the kitchens," Potter muttered.

"Oh!" Remus said. And then, "Just so I wouldn't have to see him?" Potter nodded.

"Shh!" Lily hissed, trying to see around Potter's fat head to the blackboard. He might have done Mary an enormous favour, and he might have saved Sev - and oddly, not bragged about either - but he was still a complete pain.

James turned, grinned at her and then turned back to Remus, lowering his voice. "Early, too, and then he skulks around - avoiding you - until he gets to where he needs to be."

"He needs to be here but he's not," Remus muttered back.

"Missing him, Moony?" James asked. Remus' mouth turned down unhappily and he nodded. "And he is here."

Remus turned around, knocking about four books off his desk in the process. He upended Potter's inkwell and his chair hit Lily and Mary's desk making Lily draw a line through her notes. "Where?!" he demanded, scanning the classroom hopefully.

"Mr Lupin, is there a problem?" Professor Flitwick asked, coming over.

"No, sir," Potter said quickly, tugging Remus back around. The teacher walked away to check Lockhart's notes. "You said nothing to do with him, remember?" Potter said.

"I thought you'd want us to be friends again," Remus muttered.

"I do. I'm trying to make you realise how much you miss him. Did I mention you were asking for him in your sleep last night?"

"No," Remus sighed.

"Well you were," Potter said.

"Does he miss me?" Remus asked.

Potter snorted. "Of course he does, you prat!"

"Then why haven't I so much as seen him?"

"Because he's avoiding you like you told him to." Remus squirmed in his seat looking guilty. "A map and a cloak will do wonders-"

"Potter, shut up!" Lily snapped. "Some of us are trying to work."

Potter turned, pushing his glasses up. "You don't need to hear the teacher to write down what's on the board, Evans."

"You're distracting me," she said, annoyed.

"How? Is it my stunning good looks? My fabulous physique?"

"Your loud mouth, actually," she growled.

"I know one way you could shut me up," he said, ruffling his messy hair. Mary snorted, but it lacked her usual disdain.

Lily flushed. Then, to spite him, she pulled her wand out. "_Silencio_," she said.

Potter was quiet for a moment and then he said, "That was rude." Lily gaped at him. He blew her a kiss, gave the back, empty desk at the back of the room a thumbs up and then grinned wickedly.

"You-"

"Me?" Potter said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Was that Padfoot?" Remus muttered.

Potter nodded, turning back around. "You called him Padfoot!"

"Potter-"

"Hush, Evans love. We're talking."

"I-" Remus frowned. "But you have."

"Not since Tuesday," James said grimly.

Remus frowned. "I-I hadn't even noticed." Remus cast another look at the back of the classroom - there was still nothing there - and then turned around. Mercifully, the pair started to take notes after that, and left Lily to write in peace.

* * *

Lily'd been sitting in the Astronomy Tower, talking things over with Severus until nearly midnight, and he still continued to... well, not defend Mulciber, at least, but he certainly didn't agree that what Mulciber'd done was awful. Eventually they'd agreed to disagree - Lily knew she'd spend hours worrying about it later - and gone their separate ways, after deciding to meet in the library after lunch.

She made her way back to Gryffindor tower, was almost caught by Filch, lectured by the Fat Lady for waking her up after hours and she'd tripped over Black in the common room on her way to her dormitory; he'd rolled off the couch, apologising to the moon in his sleep.

Suffice to say, the next morning, Lily awoke feeling as if she'd hardly slept at all. She grabbed a book and tiptoed out of her dormitory - Mary, Katelyn, Sylvia and Julianne were still sleeping - and out onto the stairwell. She made it into the common room, and in the dim morning light was met with one of the cutest and strangest things she'd ever seen; it was the Marauders - all four of them - piled onto Black's little couch. Remus and Black were upright, both deeply asleep - as if they'd fallen asleep talking - the former with his head on Black's shoulder. Black's head rested atop his.

Potter was draped across them and seemed to have brought his bedding down - he was cocooned - and had his head on one arm of the chair and his feet dangling off the other. He was grinning broadly, even in his sleep. Pettigrew was curled up in the rest of Potter's bedding, looking rather squished with Potter's legs resting on top of him and Black's hand lying across his face. Potter's glasses had fallen to the floor at some point so Lily picked them up and set them on the table by the fire.

She was creeping over to the portrait hole when Potter stirred. "Evans?" he asked blearily. "What are you doing in my dormitory?"

"_You're_ in the common room," she said, unable to sound as strict as she usually did.

"Oh," Potter said. He glanced at his sleeping friends, lifted his legs off of Peter and nestled back down. "All right, then."

Lily hesitated and then smiled. "Bye," she said. She couldn't help herself. Potter was still horrible and still arrogant and still a toerag and every other name she'd ever called him but he looked so happy just then, that it was contagious and he _had_ saved Mary, and Severus the other night, so surely he couldn't be all bad. Just mostly.

**One smile couldn't hurt, she'd reasoned, and told herself she was just being nice. She'd finally, though - after five years - seen him as he was with his friends, with his barriers down. She'd been so surprised she'd let her own barriers down - though just for a moment - and she hadn't been hurt or bothered. She'd never admit it, but she'd been forced then to realise that he wasn't all bad. **

**It wasn't a decision she was conscious of making, and her actions would later prove that when she continued to turn him down, but at that moment, regardless of whether she was aware of it, everything had changed and James was no longer fighting a losing battle. Just a long one.**


End file.
